15 THINGS THAT A MAN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT HANDLING THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN HIS WIFE AND HIS MOTHER

15 THINGS THAT A MAN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT HANDLING THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN HIS WIFE AND HIS MOTHER 

By: Modupe Ehirim

Understanding the dynamics and potential conflicts between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law is essential for men in order to support a harmonious family environment. 

When you marry you wife, she is emigrating from her family of origin and joining you. 

Remember, you have a HUGE role to play in how she will settle into your family. 

Here are 15 things men should know about this issue:

1. It's not your battle: 

Recognize that the primary conflict is between your mother and your wife. Your role is to be a mediator, peacemaker, and supporter, not to take sides.

2. Communication is key: 

Encourage open and respectful communication between your mother and your wife. Effective communication can help resolve misunderstandings and bridge gaps.

3. Set boundaries: 

Establish clear boundaries with your mother and wife, making it clear what behavior is acceptable and what isn't.

4. Be a united front: 

Present a united front with your wife when addressing conflicts with your mother. This shows that you support your spouse and your marriage.

5. Stay neutral: 

Avoid taking sides or making your mother or wife feel like they are in competition for your attention or approval.

6. Empathy is crucial: 

Try to understand both your mother's and wife's perspectives and feelings. Empathy can help you navigate the situation with greater sensitivity.

7. Encourage compromise: 

Advocate for finding common ground and compromise to resolve issues rather than escalating conflicts.

8. Respect their individual roles: Acknowledge that your mother and wife have distinct roles in your life and the family, and those roles can coexist harmoniously.

9. Don't share private details: 

Avoid sharing intimate or personal details about your marriage with your mother, as this can lead to misunderstandings and exacerbate conflicts.

10. Respect their autonomy: Recognize that your wife is an independent individual with her own ideas and ways of doing things. Encourage her autonomy and support her choices.

11. Avoid criticism: 

Do not criticize your wife in front of your mother or vice versa. This can erode trust and create tension.

12. Create opportunities for bonding: 

Encourage your mother and wife to spend time together and find common interests, which can help build a positive relationship.

13. Be patient: 

Resolving conflicts may take time, so be patient and give your mother and wife the opportunity to work through their issues.

14. Seek external help if necessary: If conflicts persist and become unmanageable, consider involving a therapist or counselor to mediate and provide guidance.

15. Prioritize your marriage: 

Remember that your marriage should be your top priority. A strong and healthy marriage provides a stable foundation for your entire family, including your mother and wife.

Being the head or "oga" of the family is not small work.

One way that you demonstrate to your wife that you are a real "oga' that she can rely on, is to handle very well, conflicts that come up between your wife and members of your family of origin. 

Although I wrote specifically about your wife and mum, these points also apply to handling conflicts that come up with other members of your family.

As the "oga" of the family, you show your effectiveness as head of the family by maintaining a balanced and supportive approach in these situations, ensuring that both your mother and your wife feel respected and valued in the family dynamic.

P. S. One book that will help you in your role as "oga" of your family is "Developing the Leader Within You" by John C. Maxwell

#therightfitmarriageacademy 

#mummymo 

Did I omit anything? Oya add your own ideas to the list.